Bloody Hell!
by NotToBeMessedWith
Summary: Hugo warned them not to mess with Hermione's stuff. Now the next generation of Potters and Weasleys are stuck in the past. Will Ginny and Harry still get together? Will Ron kill Harry? Will the kids ever get back to their own time? ON HIATUS
1. Not Good

**Mka, so first HP fic, had the random idea once while reading the conclusion to 'Deathly Hallows' for the 25****th**** time. Oh, and by the way, this is five years after the ending of HP7.**

**Chapter One – Not. Good.**

A loud _bang _echoed through the otherwise silent house. A couple walking on the street glared. It was almost midnight – children should NOT be making that amount of noise.

"James, I swear, if you don't give me back my letter RIGHT NOW…" 13-year-old Lily Potter threatened. Her 16-year old brother hung over the banister of the stairs, dangling the piece of parchment just out of her reach. "What, you want your _looooove note_?" he said teasingly. His hazel eyes sparkled with mischief as Lily's narrowed.

Behind Lily, her brother Albus and cousins Rose and Hugo watched. Rose leaned over slightly and whispered, "Who's it from again?"

Albus hissed back, "I think Scott Finnigan, but I'm not sure." They resumed their normal positions and watched in interest. Even at age 15, watching siblings fight is hilarious.

Suddenly, Rose shrieked. James had jumped over the banister onto a dresser that stood in the Weasley's main hallway. Hitting the ground, he sprinted off laughing insanely. Lily pelted after him, cursing at the top of her lungs.

Hugo looked at Rose and Albus, and simultaneously the ran after James and Lily.

To Rose's horror, their chase had led them into her mother's experiment room, where she tried out new spells. On a wooden table sat a smoking pot, and it was around this that James and Lily ran.

Hugo called out a warning. "Don't touch any of Mum's stuff, it's really-"

His warning came too late. Lily had made a flying leap towards James over the table, and had upended the little smoking pot. A shining silver goop flew into the air.

"Euuugh!" Rose squealed as it hit her. She wasn't alone – all of the teens were wearing similar expressions of disgust.

Hugo glared at Lily and James, who were standing to the side looking very guilty. "I warned you, didn't I? Mum mixed up a lot of stuff, and not all of it is safe."

Lily ran a hand through her thick red hair, wrinkling her nose as the silvery stuff coated her fingers. "Yeah, but all this seems to have done is get up disgusting…"

She trailed off, her eyes fixed on her hand. James stared too, then at himself. The silver stuff had started glowing very brightly. Albus squinted his eyes against the growing light, but it made no difference. It just got brighter and brighter and brighter until…

---

Lily blinked. Spots faded from her eyes as the high amount of bright light decreased. To her shock, she was no longer coated in silver goop. As she looked around, she saw that the same proved true for Albus, Rose, Hugo and James.

James shook his head and stretched. "That was odd," he informed them. Albus rolled his eyes. "Hugo, Rose, no offense to Aunt Hermione, but some of the stuff she mixes up is really useless."

Hugo nodded in agreement, but Rose stood still. She was staring at a spot over James's shoulder. Lily prodded her side. "Rosie? What's up?"

Rose hid her brown eyes behind her own flaming red hair. In a very tiny voice, she said, "It did work. Mum is going to kill us."

Lily looked around, and felt her jaw drop.

They were most certainly not at Aunt Hermione and Uncle Ron's house. They weren't at the Potter's, either. They were standing in a room that they had heard about, but that had been rendered nearly useless after a catastrophic fire 24 years ago.

James summed up what they all were thinking quite well. "Bloody hell."

**Hee. It was kind of short, but it's just an intro. The next chapters will be longer, I just had to get the setting in there. Maybe you all can guess what the room is! Really, it's not that hard.**

**Anyway, tata for now!**

**---NotToBeMessedWith**


	2. Well This Is Awkward

**Hee, so here is the first true chapter of Bloody Hell!**

**Chapter Two – Well This Is Awkward**

Lily stared. The room looked like a Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, only better. It had shelves and shelves of books, Dark Detectors, cushions…

She swallowed dryly. All too quickly she remembered her mother's stories about the DA, the secret defense club her father had organized during his fifth year in the Room of Requirement. And unless she was severely mistaken, this was the same room.

She looked at her brothers, and the look on their faces told her they had realized it too.

"Oh my God!" Rose spoke first, in a panicked tone. "We're back in Mum and Dad's fifth year! Oh no, oh no, oh my God, oh no…" She continued along this thread until a sharp noise interrupted her. She fell into a terrified silence, and all of them turned slowly to look at the far wall.

A door was forming very slowly. Lily felt a swooping deep in her stomach as she realized why the room was set up that way. _They must have been thinking about it just as we landed_.

Her hazel eyes never moved from the wood, even as it finished appearing and became an ornately carved doorway. And then…

The door opened. 6 people entered, talking in quiet voices as they slipped in. Four appeared to be about Albus and Rose's age, while two of the girls seemed to be about fourteen.

The boy in the lead looked exactly like Albus and James: moderate height, with black hair that stuck up oddly all over his head. The only difference between him and James was the fact that the boy was wearing glasses and had emerald green eyes, which made him look exactly like Albus.

The second boy had flaming red hair, instantly labeling him as a Weasley. Lily found herself sending a rapid glance between him and Hugo. He was followed by a girl with bushy brown hair who he appeared to be arguing with.

The other boy was pale and slightly chubby, with an unsure look on his face. Next to him was a girl with extremely pale blonde hair and blue, dreamy-looking eyes.

The final girl was also a Weasley, with the characteristic flaming red hair. She had hazel eyes like Lily and James, and every so often they would dart to the boy in the lead.

Lily shrank back towards James. She knew these people. Oh, she knew them well.

The six were talking until they were about five feet into the room. Then they froze as they saw the five other children.

For a minute or two all they did was stare at each other. Lily noticed uncomfortably that the redheaded girl was staring at James an awful lot.

Finally, the black-haired boy spoke. "Who are you?" he asked sharply. "How did you get in here?"

The others were still staring, so Lily stepped timidly forward. She heard the redhead girl let out a little gasp, but she spoke anyway. "I-I'm Lily. These are my brothers James and Albus. And my cousins, Hugo and Rose."

She saw the black haired boy's eyes widen considerably at their names, and his eyes again flashed to Lily's brothers.

Then he asked, "You aren't Slytherins, are you?"

Lily shook her head quickly. "None of us are. We're all Gryffindors."

The boy seemed to relax a little at this. "So you won't turn us in to Umbridge?"

Lily's eyes went wide. That pretty much confirmed what Rose had said before. She remembered her father's stories about the sadistic methods Dolores Umbridge used.

After a few seconds, though, she shook her head.

Finally the boy smiled. Now James finally spoke. "Will you at least tell us your names?"

The redhead boy glared at him, but the bushy haired girl put a hand on his shoulder and shook her head in warning. The lead boy, however, nodded in answer to James' request.

"The redheads are Ron and Ginny Weasley. The other boy is Neville Longbottom. The blonde is Luna Lovegood. The other girl is Hermione Granger." They each nodded in turn, and Luna gave them a dreamy smile. "And I'm Harry Potter."

"Bloody hell!" Lily whipped her head around to glare at James, who was staring at Harry as though he had never seen anything quite like him. Before she could react though, Albus had elbowed him sharply in the side and hissed something in his ear. James flushed, and then looked at the ground.

Ginny was looking at them curiously. She said, "You look around our age. I've never see you in the Gryffindor common room."

Ron instantly looked suspicious again. Hermione, however, was scrutinizing the Potter siblings' faces. Suddenly, with a loud gasp, she stumbled backwards. Ron grabbed her arm, and Harry asked quickly, "Hermione, what is it? What's wrong?"

She pointed shakily at Albus. "He's… he's practically you, without the scar."

Lily felt Albus stiffen. She herself tensed up. Why did Hermione have to be so smart? They were going to have to explain the whole future thing now.

Hugo spoke up first. "Well of _course_ he does, he's your – ow! Rosie!" His sister had stepped hard on his foot to shut him up, but not before suspicion had clouded everyone's faces.

Sighing inwardly, Lily stepped forward yet again. She looked Harry right in the eye, and with all the courage she could muster, she said, "Ginny doesn't recognize us… because we aren't from now. We're from 26 years into your future."

**Oh, boy, now this could get complicated! Especially 'cause Ron's not gonna react well when he finds out just WHO was the mother to Harry's kids…**

**I'll update very soon!**

**---NotToBeMessedWith**


	3. You Did WHAT To Ginny!

**Erm, I apologize for the shortness of chapters. My computer has become royally screwed up.**

**So anyway, this is where the 'humor' part begins to come in… hehehehehe…**

**Chapter 3 – You Did WHAT To Ginny?!**

Using 'stunned' to describe to look on Harry's face would have been an understatement. He had a look equivalent to having been hit over the head with a house.

Dead silence reigned in the Room of Requirement. Lily could feel the eyes of her brothers and cousins on her back as she stared down Harry. On the other hand, she was getting stares of incredulity or flat out disbelief from Ginny, Hermione, Neville, Luna and Ron.

Finally, Harry found the use of his voice again, and croaked, "From… our… future?"

Lily gave a tight lipped grin and nodded. Hermione's hands fluttered to her mouth. Harry blinked at her, then looked over her shoulder.

She slid to the side as Harry strode forward. He looked at Rose and Hugo briefly, and Lily could have sworn his eyes slid towards Hermione and Ron, the latter of whom was trying to calm to former down.

Lily bit her lip in apprehension as Harry came level with James. To her amusement, James was a good 3 inches taller than Harry. Harry's green eyes met James' hazel.

"What's your name again?" Harry asked quietly. James looked down at Harry, gave him one of his patented smirks, and said bluntly, "James. James Sirius."

Lily shot daggers at him. _Way to go, idiot._

Harry narrowed his eyes at James. Without another word, the 15 year old moved to Albus.

It was only when they were face to face did Lily realized how right Hermione was. Albus and Harry were the same height, same hair, same eyes… they even wore their glasses the same way. Harry looked at him for a long moment.

"Your name was Albus?"

Lily's second brother nodded. "Albus Severus," he whispered.

A sharp gasp came from the crowd near the door. Albus studiously ignored them, keeping his gaze trained on Harry.

The two held their gaze for another minute, then Harry rounded on Lily.

"You said you're their sister?" he asked. Lily nodded. Her voice suddenly seemed to have turned off.

Harry ran a hand through his hair. With a sudden outburst that made them all jump, he yelled, "WHY DO THEY SEEM SO FAMILIAR!?"

"I know." All eyes turned to Luna, who had a serene smile on her face. "If they're from 26 years in _our_ future, those exact words, and the boys look like you, I'd say they were your sons."

Harry stared. He looked at James, then Albus, then Lily, and then back at Luna. His mouth moved wordlessly for a while, and then he rounded on Lily again. "Is this true?!" he demanded.

Lily nodded, hazel eyes huge. Harry looked wildly at her, and then snapped, "Well, who's your mother, then? You have red hair, and hazel eyes!"

Luna spoke again. "Oh, I don't know. I think she looks a lot like Ginny."

Ron finally spoke. "_What!?_" He glared at Lily. Inwardly, she sighed. _WHY did everyone look at her?_

"She's not right, is she? IS SHE?!" Ron yelled. Hermione tried to calm him down, but his eyes were flying between Ginny (who had backed into a corner), Harry (who Ron looked ready to kill) and Lily.

Terrified, Lily gave the tiniest of nods.

After that, it happened very fast. Ron hurled himself at Harry, and suddenly the two were on the ground. Ron was punching Harry, who was desperately trying to get him off.

"YOU -! MY LITTLE SISTER, YOU BASTARD!" Ron was screaming at Harry.

Lily and Rose were staring wide-eyed at the two boys. Ron seemed pretty intent on killing his supposed 'best friend'.

After a good three minutes, Ginny marched out of the corner she had been in and grabbed Ron by the back of the shirt. He gave a strangled gasp as she pulled him off Harry, then helped her victim up.

Ron was still glaring at Harry as Ginny began to yell at him. "WHY DID YOU ATTACK HIM, HUH?" she yelled. Lily recoiled. That was the same voice Ginny used when James had almost blown up Albus.

Ron, however, was putting up a good fight. "HE SLEPT WITH YOU! YOU'RE MY LITTLE SISTER, THAT'S NOT RIGHT!"

Ginny narrowed her eyes. "FOR GOD'S SAKE, RON, I'LL DO AS I BLOODY WELL SEE FIT!"

And with that statement, Ginny spun around, grabbed Harry by the shirt collar, and kissed him full on the lips.

Ron's jaw dropped, but Hermione smiled. Lily and her brothers looked at each other.

It was James who spoke. "I think we just screwed up the past."

**Yeah, so the whole type-more-than-3-pages-and-it-all-goes-black screwup is still on my computer, so here. Enjoy what you can.**


	4. Way to go, Hugo

So here we go again

**So here we go again. It took me a bit to figure out where I was going with this, and I'm still not sure. And I was beyond busy. So. Yeah.**

**Onward!**

**Chapter 4 – Way to go, Hugo.**

"Oh, damn," Rose moaned. "Uncle Harry is supposed to go out with Chang! We broke it! Damn, this can't end well."

Lily nodded fervently. Her brothers ogled at her parents snogging in the middle of the Room of Requirement. "Pigs," she muttered. Hermione was restraining Ron, murmuring soothingly to him. From what Lily could hear, it sounded remarkably like "it's ok, apparently it was going to happen anyway, better him than Corner, right?"

After what seemed like a lifetime of awkwardness, Ginny finally released Harry, blushing furiously. Harry looked dazed. Neville looked like he wanted nothing more than to leave now. Luna smiled serenely and said loudly, "Those two redheads are your niece and nephew, Ginny."

Her light comment snapped everyone out of the weirdness Ginny and Harry had managed to create. They looked at Rose and Hugo.

Ron managed to get out a coherent sentence around his rage. "They… have the Weasley hair." He gestured vaguely at his own mop of bright orange hair.

Luna nodded and beamed, pleased that they had caught on so quickly. "The boy looks like you, Ron," she said cheerfully.

Hermione scooted away from him like she had been electrocuted. Harry looked curiously at Ron, then at Hugo. "Yeah, Luna had a point," he said slowly. "Your name was Hugo, right? You do look like Ron."

Hugo, who had been relatively silent for the most of this encounter, chose this moment to speak. "Well of _course_ I do, he's my dad, isn't he? I mean-"

Rose slapped a hand over his mouth. "You idiot!" she hissed furiously. "You're going to ruin everything!" She then noticed the large amount of weird stares she was receiving. Her face turned as flaming as her hair as she released her brother.

Ron's mouth was moving soundlessly. He blinked several times rapidly, then ran his hand through his hair. He was apparently not equipped to handle something like this, thought Lily. She noticed Hermione had retreated to the corner that formerly housed Ginny, and had wrapped her arms tightly around herself. Her posture suggested that she was either sulking or furiously embarrassed.

Ron finally managed to say, "Am I a good dad, at least?" Even Neville looked at him like he was crazy.

Hugo apparently had not picked up the hint from Rose. "Yeah, you are! But you tend to be kind of oblivious when Mum is sad, like she is now, over there – OW, Rose!"

Rose had slapped him on the head as hard as she could. As Hugo glared, Lily looked askance at Ron and Hermione.

Both were a deeper red than Lily had known human skin could go to. They couldn't look at one another. Ginny looked pityingly at her brother. "And you beat up Harry. Hermione's practically _his _sister, and you don't see him assaulting you.

Lily laughed. Ginny looked at her, and she flushed. "I just think you're funny, Mu- I mean, Ginny," she explained. Ginny contemplated her for a moment, then smiled kindly. "At least you seem like a good kid. Those two, your brothers," she glanced at James and Albus, "seem as bad as Ron and Harry."

"Worse," Lily assured her. "They abuse the fact that they look almost exactly alike."

The two redheads, one 15 and one 13, shared an identical smile. It was strange that Lily felt so comfortable with the girl who would grow up to be her mum, but she felt like she was forming, if not a friendship, then at least a mutual understanding that they would have to make the best of this weirdness with Ginny.

She looked at Ron and Hermione again. Harry was saying something to both of them so quietly Lily couldn't hear, despite her good eavesdropping skills (one of many essential to pick up when you have two older brothers). Hermione looked steadily at Ron now, as though daring him to make a decision and live with the consequences.

Ron shuffled his feet. He kept shuffling them, until they had shuffled him over to Hermione, where he intertwined his fingers with hers. Harry grinned triumphantly. "Was that so hard?" he asked Ron. "And I didn't even have to throw a punch."

Neville finally addressed Lily. _Why always me?_ she thought, before listening to Neville.

"Uh… do I…" he looked embarrassed, "erm… ever get married?"

Lily thought about what she could say without messing up history's order more than she already had, but Hugo beat her to it. "Oh yeah, you and Luna got married a long time a-mmph!"

Rose had clamped a hand over his mouth. "I need to gag you, don't I!?" she spat. "Can't you get a hint!"

Neville had turned a brilliant shade of pink. Luna just smiled happily. Lily decided to keep it quiet that they were her godparents rather than risking Rose's wrath.

Albus stepped forward. "All right then. Now that we all know how we're interrelated, can we find out how the hell we are going to get back home?" He glared first at James, then Hugo. "I don't think we can stay long with out making the future a train wreck."

Lily nodded furiously. At least _one_ brother wasn't as dense as a post. James was looking sulky at being insulted.

He suddenly brightened. Lily looked at him warily. James only looked truly excited before something 'good' happened, which usually involved a prank. Grandpa James had passed on his troublemaker gene to both the Potter boys.

"Dumbledore!" James shouted. Lily looked at him like he needed a straitjacket. "What?" she asked, eyeing him with minor concern.

"Headmaster Dumbledore! He's here, right?" James looked at his father. Harry nodded slowly.

James smirked at Lily. "See? He hasn't died yet so he can help us – oops."

Rose gaped at him in horror. So did Albus, Hugo, and Lily. And so did the six D.A. members.

Lily mentally began to bang her head on a wall. James had just let a big secret slip. A very big secret. A very very big secret.

James seemed to have realized this a bit too late. He looked from his brother and sister to Harry, who was looking at him in utter disbelief.

James looked at his feet and swore.

"Bloody hell."

**Uhm, oops. Way2go, James. See, this is why it's nice to be female, you think things through.**

**This should go well… not.**

**R and R. Peace out.**


End file.
